Admittedly, I’m somewhat of a gym purist.
Wear a weight belt when curling; I’ll shake my head.
Insist on wearing a hoody while you lift; I’ll curse you under my breath.
Bench with your feet on the bench and your back arched like a rainbow; I’ll start to lose faith in mankind.
Tell me that a squat is basically the same thing as a deadlift and you’d better run faster than your steroid filled chicken legs have ever run before.
All of those people: those who grunt and holler, drop small weights down after a set and spend more time doing mobile phone curls than lifting, enjoy using theatricality and deception to hide the fact that they secretly have no idea what they are doing.
After all, theatricality and deception (are) powerful tools for the uninitiated but we are initiated, aren’t we?
And as the initiated, there are a certain number of rules you should follow to ensure you don’t stare into the abyss of the dark side and succumb to its power.
- Keep for feet on the ground when you bench press- placing your feet on the bench robs you of your leg drive and creates instability.
- Stop static stretching- before a workout, after a workout, DURING a workout. Static stretching between sets will limit your performance and increase your risk of injury. Instead, incorporate dynamic stretching into your warmup.
- Dress appropriately- there’s no sun in the gym so you don’t need a hat, it’s not raining so you don’t need a hood, you can’t squat in jeans, and unless a nutrition company sponsors you stop wearing their names on your muscle singlets.
- If you can lift the weight, you can put it down gently.
- Stand at least 4 feet back from the dumbbell rack and NEVER use it to rest your feet/hands on.
- Mobile phones belong in your locker, or you don’t belong in the gym.
- Don’t offer unsolicited advice. Once I had some old man tell me that a deadlift is the same as a squat then proceeded to watch him do the most awful round back deadlifts- even now my eyes bleed when I think of his form.
- If I have my headphones in, it’s for a reason. Leave me alone.
- Take of the weight belt. It’s fine to use it when you are deadlifting/squatting/pressing your 1RM, not when you’re curling 15kg.
- Rack your dumbbells and unload your bars… otherwise gym karma will get you.
- If you’re a trainer, stop offering free sessions to the hot chick in yoga pants. It just looks sad and desperate.
- NO CURLS IN THE SQUAT RACK!
12 things I would like to see more of (or less of) in the gyms these days. Do you have any rules to add to the list, things you hate, love, despise?