Why you shouldn’t ALWAYS listen to Doctors

Do you know what I feel like after a long walk?

No, not clear and refreshing water, or even some monosaccharaides from an apple or a banana.

What I really feel like after a long walk, are Cheetos. Just thinking about that ferrous sulphate, monosodium glutamate, disodium caseinate, the thiamin mononitrate, a healthy dose of vegetable oil and that amazingly delectable sodium diacetate makes me smack my lips together in eager anticipation.

Oh yeah, nothing like some MSG, overly complicated scientifically created ingredients and trans fats to help those muscles recover.

So, with all those positive health benefits of Cheetos in mind, it’s no surprise Frito-Lays, the company who birthed Chester the Cheetah, sponsored the American Heart Association (AHA) Dallas Heart Walk this year.

After all, this is the company that says, “The bad fats, saturated fats and trans fats tend to be more solid at room temperature… [And] raise cholesterol levels,” and then proceeds to hand out packets of MSG and trans fats at a health awareness event. Speaking of bad advice, I’ve decided to use quotes and pictures to explain why I hate Dr. Oz.

Dr. Oz has a recipe for “Butt-Busting Brownies“.  I have nothing wrong with the recipe, I do take umbrage with his insistence on claiming that cinnamon will stop fat from going to your bottom.

But…

This recipe from Dave Ruel may not ‘bust your butt’ but at least it will fill you up and increase your nutritional profile.

Dr. Oz recommends eating a carbohydrate heavy breakfast in the morning and reducing your carbohydrates as the day goes on- this will help you lose that darn blasted stubborn butt fat.  Dinner should then be mostly protein.

But…

Nate Miyaki, Jason Ferruggia, and John Keifer all recommend eating proteins and fats during the day, and a carb heavy meal at night.  It’s therefore no surprise they also all recommend intermittent fasting.

 

And lastly, Dr. Oz recommends ordering a veggie burger next time you have a craving for junk food because some people clearly just can’t live without fast food.

I don’t recommend eating fast food… and that’s just common sense.

The Mayo Clinic is “a nonprofit worldwide leader in medical care, research and education for people from all walks of life” that is the be all and end all when it comes to American medicine.

Yet they recommend squatting to only 90 degrees parallel to the floor.

Meanwhile, Tony Gentilcore recommends squatting PAST 90 degrees.  Whilst it is a very informative article, let me quote Mr. Gentilcore, “you’re a walking bag of douche if you go around telling people that squatting below parallel is bad for their knees.”

Something tells me he wouldn’t think too highly of the Mayo Clinic’s recommendation for squatting.

But it’s all ok, because they also recommend the abdominal crunch as “one of the most common exercises used to train the abdominal muscles”.

Unless you’re Eric Cressey, or even just a person who doesn’t want to shorten their rectus abdominis and become kyphotic.  Therefore, E.C recommends reverse crunches instead.

What’s even more interesting is that the Mayo Clinic recommended their crunches in 2010, and Eric Cressey banished them to the sin bin in 2008.

Good to see the Mayo Clinic keeping up to date with their research.

Now, I don’t want to completely slander doctors.  After all, there is no way I’d ever go to a Personal Trainer or Nutritionist and say, “I’m coughing up blood, what can I do to get better?  Will deadlifting fix it?”

*** Deadlifting can solve a lot of problems in life, but, alas, tuberculosis is not one of them. ***

If you’re sick, go see a doctor.  Their diagnostic skills are unparalleled and necessary if you are sick.  No doubt you will need antibiotics, steroids, drips, surgery or a group of brave men to shrink down to microscopic size and enter your body with a tiny submarine, to get better.

However, doctors and dieticians are bound by government regulations and therefore, can’t recommend anything revolutionary like, say, squatting below parallel just in case your knees cave in and your stomach explodes.

That’s why, if you want to get stronger, faster, bigger, leaner, and healthier, go and see a GOOD Personal Trainer or Nutritionist.  In most cases, they are more up to date with the current research regarding training and diets and have the ability to prescribe revolutionary things, such as eating carb free during the days, and carb heavy at night.

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2 Responses to Why you shouldn’t ALWAYS listen to Doctors

  1. Sia says:

    Man, I listen to Dr Oz sometimes and am horrified at the shit he says. I dont think he has any idea at all. Nicely written.

    • jonoprecel says:

      But… but… but… Oprah likes him… oh wait, she hasn’t exactly been super successful when it comes to body recomposition and health, has she? Kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?

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