- We know how to cook.
Gone are the days of eating nothing but steamed broccoli and grilled chicken breasts. This is the renaissance of healthy cooking that is infused with protein powders and healthy fats.
Fitness nerds know what to eat, when to eat it and how much of it to eat for maximal anabolism and weight loss.
Also, a man isn’t a man unless he can cook a good steak and a good piece of salmon… Fitness nerds can do both.
- You can parade our muscles around.
It’s a sad reality but it’s true. Fitness nerds train to refine our bodies so that they are as strong and ironclad as our minds.
One (un) fortunate side effect of this is having big arms, a wide back and tree trunks for legs.
So yes, next time we are out with you we both know you are enjoying the way our clothes sit on us and the way your friends are looking at you and us… and that you love the fact you get to take us home even more.
- You won’t have to worry about getting drunken calls at 3am in the morning asking to pick us up.
Alcohol ruins your gains. And nobody wants to sit out Sundays back workout because they are still nursing a hangover.
Instead, we know how to have fun without feeling as if a Chest Burster will explode from us the morning after.
- Organisation is our forte.
Ever tried working full time, juggling social and family commitments, preparing meals and working out?
Fitness nerds understand how to effectively use time. We have our meals, workouts, social commitments, injuries and illnesses all catalogued and colour co-ordinated a month in advance.
Our organisation skills are eerily brilliantly, reminiscent of John Nash.
- Unlike most men, we can still see our feet… and our manhood.
According to recent British survey of 1000 men between the ages of 35-60, 30% of men cannot see their penises due to their protruding guts brought on through bad diet, nights drinking, stress and sedentary lifestyle habits.
These types of protruding bellies normally lead to: metabolic syndrome, erectile dysfunction, cardiovascular disease, and Type 2 diabetes.
Fitness nerds can still their feet and, ahem, have no problems chopping wood at any time of the day.
Well, unless it’s pre-workout, then NOTHING gets in our way of lifting.
- We enjoy reading and believe education isn’t only taught in schools.
Despite what Planet Fitness professes in their ads, muscular men and women are not vacuous individuals eerily reminiscent of cavemen.
Instead, we tend to enjoy reading books on philosophy, art, cooking, physiology, psychology, life hacking, marketing, history and yes, if it has Arnold’s name on it, it’s in our collection.
One thing you will notice is that Fitness Nerds don’t need to be traditionally educated in a big box university. Some of the best ones failed university, or even high school, and have still revolutionised the way we exercise, move and eat.
So while we bust out poses for your friends, we can also philosophically wax on the musings of our technologically derived society and its effect on the current generation of kids- or discuss Game of Thrones if that’s what you’re into.
- Your friends will love telling us about their diets and exercise programs.
Everyone invariably wants to know how to lose weight, gain muscle or if the doctor on the morning show was right and eggs will turn your arteries into concrete whilst if the root of an ancient tribal herb found in the Himalayas and harvested by a tribe of blind lost Monks will cause weight loss.
When your friends find out we are a Fitness nerd, they’ll quiz us on how to: reduce their ab fat, pack on muscle, eat properly, cut out sugar, train for a marathon, tone up, and the list goes on.
Don’t worry, we don’t mind the questions- in fact, we enjoy helping people out.
- Fitness nerds are normally level headed and rational.
We enjoy lifting, lifting relaxes us and, much like Happy Gilmore, know how to go to our ‘happy place’.
Staying centered, calm and a sion of peace and tranquility in the storm of life is what we do best.
- Have a jar you need opened? Or a couch you need moved? We’re your man.
Seriously, sometimes I think this is the only reason my wife keeps me around- oh, and also to reach the top shelf.
- Lastly, fitness nerds will help you be your best version of yourself.
Fitness nerds strive to fully realise who they are, and what they are capable (both physically and mentally) of.
That’s not the best thing though. We enjoy helping people, you are the most important person to us, therefore, if my university philosophy classes taught me anything about arguing, helping you become the best version of yourself is something we enjoy.
Especially when we see that big smile on your face when you look in the mirror and see the changes.
So what are you waiting for? Go find your own Fitness nerd today!