And thus we have come to the last instalment of the veritable, nearly incomprehensible, slop that occupies and inhabits my mind.
So, without any delay:
Being ‘hard-core’ isn’t skipping family or friend commitments because you need to go to gym; it’s fitting everything in.
Let me confess, I have rocked up late to social events before because I needed to get my workout in, and I have planned nights away around rest days.
When my wife and I last went overseas, my one condition was that every hotel needed to have a gym.
With that out of the way, there are those ‘hard-core’ people that love to boast about how they have skipped functions, birthdays, funerals, births, or their children’s rehearsals because they needed to smash their chest beforehand, or they didn’t want to be tempted by a smorgasbord of food.
There is nothing hard-core about this; it’s plain selfish stupidity.
If you have a workout scheduled, and a birthday pops up, politely explain to them that you’ll be a little late. If you have a workout scheduled and a loved one is on their deathbed, drop what you’re doing and go.
There are very few reasons to skip a workout, as long as you’re realistic. If you have three kids, you probably won’t have as much time as a single guy. Don’t try and pretend like you still have ten hours of free time a week to do 2-a-day sessions.
Being hard-core isn’t about skipping something to get your sessions in. It’s about getting to those events AND STILL GETTING THOSE SESSIONS IN.
Squats won’t get you a ‘squat booty’
Facebook is filled with ‘inspirational words’ embossed over apple shaped bottoms, telling people, women particularly, to squat if they want an arse that stops traffic.
Unfortunately, this simply isn’t true.
Everybody should squat, and the heavier the better. However, they are far from the best exercise for gluteal (the fancy way of saying ass) development. In fact, if a woman squats too much they can end up with stocky legs that are bigger than most guys.
Instead, if you want the type of ass that Beyoncé would be jealous of, your go to moves should be glute bridges, low-level activation work (e.g. bird dogs), kettlebell swings and hill sprints.
But keep squatting- always keep squatting.
Train don’t exercise
Gyms are filled with people who exercise.
They get in, do their time, and leave smelling the sweet satisfaction of ‘dedication’ and ‘passion’.
Months later they fail to see any definable progress and, claiming that it just doesn’t work for them, give up and start doing something crazy, like Crossfit or Prancercising.
Despite it being clichéd, get into the gym and train. That means you’re trying to beat PB’s, records or times. You’re aim is to get stronger, faster, bigger and, dare I use the word, more aesthetically pleasing.
Avoid being like all those people who just spin their wheels; aim to excel and strive for the best version of you.
Get out of your comfort zone every now and then
Twice now I’ve done Century Squats, 5 sets of 20 reps of bodyweight (95kg) barbell Back Squats.
Both times I’ve almost felt as if I was going to die.
My legs, so swollen and filled with blood refused to tense. After my fifth set, I needed to go the bathroom. I walked half way, and then had to sit down for three minutes and rest.
Century Squats took me so far out of my comfort zone that I don’t even know where it is anymore.
If you never push yourself further or harder, how are you going to know what you are really capable of?
Stress kills, and also makes you fat
You could do everything correct.
The perfect diet, the ‘miracle’ workout routine that slashes 10% body fat in three weeks, and beating PB’s mean nothing if you’re stressed.
In minor cases, stress can damage your insulin response, forcing your body to store more fat and in severe cases, it can cause your organs to shutdown.
Ever heard of someone dying of a broken heart? Guess what, it’s true, and it happens when your body is under immense stress.
Drink chamomile tea, exercise, don’t use a phone before bed, don’t sleep more than 8 hours a night and cut the processed crap from your diet.
And there we have it, the conclusion of three instalments of information that may have been useful, but was most likely just trivial because, in this modern age of Internet that we live in, I know there’s nothing you already don’t know.